Exhausted. That's the only word that can describe how I feel at the end of a day with my boys. Pure, full-body, drained-mind, knots-in-the-shoulders, patience-shot, exhaustion.

I was thinking the other day about this life as a stay-at-home-mom of three itty, bitty boys. Thinking about how my life is filled with trivial little tasks I do for my kids all day long like filling sippy cups and changing poopy diapers (that shouldn't be poopy because they should be potty trained), and buckling them in-and-out and in-and-out and in-and-out of carseats. How I am constantly cleaning up bathrooms from little boys that have a "bad aim," and how I desperately desire to drive a cool car again instead of our very practical and dorky mini-van.

But then...
I take a look at my life through a new set of eyes. And I remember that this time goes by fast...way too fast and someday soon, before I know it, my itty, bitty boys will be big and grown-up. I'll be able to have coffee and lunch dates out whenever I want. I'll be able to get in and out of my house in 5 mintues. I won't have to pack up snacks and diapers and changes of clothes every time I leave the house. And I probably won't be nearly as exhausted and worn-out then. But...

I will miss my family room being adorned on a regular basis with firetrucks, trains and airplanes.

I will miss seeing Sesame Street, Thomas and J.J. on on my TiVo.

I will miss my kitchen table not needing to be cleared before dinner every night of Crayola Crayons and sweet stick figures pictures of our family.

I will miss Kaden's chunky legs in a Pull-Up coming down after a nap at 3:30, smiling sweetly with rosy cheeks, as he calls out "GOOD MOW-NING MOMMA!"

I will miss adventures of finding monsters, ghosts, pirates and dinosaurs in the dark corners of our house.

I will miss being beckoned upstairs by tucked-in boys who insist they can't sleep because I haven't kissed them.

And sure, I'll have my cool car again, but I won't look back and see my boys in the mirror or be
asked to play "Hi Spy" on the way to Grandma's house.

I read this from another random mom's blog the other day and it gives such perfect words to the way I feel...
I know one day we probably won't be so close. Mothers and sons aren't supposed to be too close, right? Nobody wants a mama's boy. Nobody trusts a man who still worships his mother. He needs to grow up and away from me, even though I doubt I will ever stop craving everything about him. His face. His dimple. His laugh. His chubby body and his full-tilt-boogie bear hugs that come at 100 toddler miles an hour.Having a boy is the most amazing, precious and special thing. You can see the years stretch out before you, full of sports and bugs and inevitable heartbreak, and you know it will all be over in the blink of an eye. But it doesn't matter. I don't doubt my ability to love and adapt anymore. He's my son, and he's everything I ever wanted in the world.

Exhausted? Definitely.
But you know what? I'll joyfully accept this exhaustion for this season as an indicator of what a rich, full life I have with my precious boys.