I've never been an "animal person." I grew up with a cat that I never held because I was always scared that he would scratch or bite me. I never have any desire to have animals in my house now that I'm an adult nor do I ever have the desire to even pet or play with anyone else's animals. Just keep that in mind as I share this story of what happened to me this morning...
I have the boys all ready to go for a walk. Steve is gone, of course, because things like I'm about to tell you only happen when he is not here. We're all gathered near the front door ready to walk outside. Zachary opens the door first and as he does a squirrel scurries quickly by the doorstep.
The squirrel panics seeing all of us so close to him, so he tries to run away.
Unfortunately, he runs the wrong direction and runs into our house.
That's not all. I'm dressed all in black so (I'm assuming) the squirrel mistakes me for a tree and JUMPS. ON. MY. NECK.
I scream, I hyperventilate, I flail my arms. The squirrel jumps off and runs away outside.
I'm about ready to faint and am thinking to myself, "Did this really just happen?!!!"
I'm re-assured that it actually did just happen because Kaden says to me immediately following the fiasco, "Mommy! Did you see that squirrel jump on your HEAD?!"
Saturday, June 07, 2008
The Weirdest True Story I Will Ever Tell
at 1:30 PM
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12 comments:
That is absolutely ridiculous...I had a similar encounter with a bird the other day...ran right into my head and flew away as if I didn't notice...I will be honest, I could do without animals as well!
ps...tell the boys I said hello and that I love them!
This one made me laugh out loud, all the while just SICK for you...I don't know that I would have made it through that... :)
Oh, how funny jenny....
But you had a dog when you were little, a poodle...didn't you like it? How sad you don't like animals..
Oh my word! Jenny I was laughing and gasping at the same time when I read this. I promptly went outside to tell Chris the story and he said "what in the world? Why do those things always happen to Vollmers?" Hope you sleep ok tonight with no squirrel nightmares.
Oh my goodness!! That is too, too, too crazy. I CANNOT imagine. I love animals but I wouldn't want a squirrel on me.
OH.MY.GOSH!!!! I think I would have the same reaction as you if I was in the same situation. I don't well in those types of situations. That is the strangest yet funniest story I have heard in a very long time! I am sure your boys LOVED it. ;o) ~Shirley
I would of passed out! Didn't you have Chrissy growing up? Hilarious!
How funny!! Also how funny that you don't mention your blind (and deaf?) poodle!! Must not have been too memorable of a pet! Only you would have an experience like this. Thank God it didn't run back into your house!!! (:
Ok, Jay told me this story and I dont think my mouth closed for minutes after he told me. I was like omg are you kidding me?? You poor thing. I have had a flying squirrel on me, I know the feeling.
my stomach hurts from laughing (i'm sorry it's at your expense!)... what an adventure - without even leaving the front doorstep! i'm sure steve was really disappointed to miss it.
Thank you for making my day - I just laughed for the first time today and your story was well worth it!
how, how, do you have such crazy things happen to you? So funny. I mean scary...but so funny too:)
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